When it rains, it pours!
As I write this I attempt to drown out the noise of workers ripping out the once beautiful, pale peach shiny ceramic tiles from my kitchen floor. Ceramic tiles, kitchen cabinets, the finished basement ceiling, and oh yes; one of my favorite charcoal and conte crayon paintings from my college days ruined by the water from a once reliable refrigerator. Can you believe this is taking place one week before Christmas? Well, I believe there is always a silver lining inside every rain cloud and I’m sure this one will present itself to me very soon.

Wow, what a roller coaster ride of emotions these past few months; September 1st a great feeling of accomplishment to start a job as Development Director at an Independent School, though the pay is less it is a job with a great organization. Next, the thrill of opening the large white envelope with the return address for the Community House in Birmingham; cautiously opening and reading words that bring the biggest smile across my face and nothing can hold back the sound of joy exploding from my mouth. “Congratulations! Your painting has been accepted in the juried Our Town Art Show, October 14th-16th.” The painting accepted was “Schoolhouse Serenity”

Anticipation, excitement, and a sense of calmness washes over me as the sun light dances through the bedroom drapes coaxing me out of my slumber.
Another day begins in what has become a ritual in interview preparation; the morning thanks and prayers for a smooth day. Nine months today, it seems hard to fathom that I have officially been on a sabbatical or in other words “unemployed’. CLH

What would you do? One of the most enlightening questions posed by an undercover news program. Enlightening because it makes you stop, think and wonder, “What would I do?” Many of us watch and think “Oh, that is horrible how those people are treating that person” but think about it, would you actually stop and help that person? I hope you would, but unfortunately a large number of people have become so desensitized to violence, pain, and humiliation due in large part to the daily exposure to them in movies, video games, internet and sometimes the news. This exposure seems to have led to a numbing of feelings or even the feeling that there is nothing we can do anyway.
So what do we do?

What began as a beautiful, sunny morning has changed into a slightly overcast but calming early afternoon with the steady buzz of crickets in the breeze. Days like this tend to make me reflect on the past, present, and future.

The sun is playing hide and seek in the clouds, the birds are chirping, a butterfly glides softly among daylilies on the patio reminding me life continues yet with constant change, growth and beauty.

It’s hard to believe that so much has changed in one year, four months and twenty-six days. Why do we track the time to signify events whether happy or sad? Is it to prove the importance of the event or a person in our lives? It does not change what has taken place, it will not bring a loved one back.
Besides God, who could have ever imagined all that has transpired during this time? Some moments seem a lifetime away and at other times, just like yesterday.
I have learned during this time to attempt to live by the mantra “Let go, let God” accepting the fact that I am not in total control.

Amazing isn’t it? I have gone through life believing in God, praying to God yet have the audacity to believe I alone was in control of my life. That’s not a totally strange concept since I am not by myself in this presumption. If I am truly honest with myself I can mark the times I ignored certain path(s) in front of me yet was made to follow it after a detour due to a major change in my life.

When we think of the loss of a job, or the death of a loved one we don’t usually think of the positive aspects, or if we do there is a degree of guilt associated with that feeling. There is truth to the saying “When one door closes another one opens” though at times we may fight it placing a chokehold onto the memories or the status. Continuing on does not diminish the importance of the loved one or the necessity for the job, as long as we realize we would not be where we are at this moment without every detail involved with the relationship or event. Everything we have experienced has made an impact on who we are and how we handle situations. Hopefully we grow and develop into better individuals from the lessons learned from those experiences. I believe there is something better, more fulfilling ahead for me.

Have you ever wondered “What is my purpose here?”, fortunately some people know the answer to that question and pursue their destiny with gusto while others may spend the majority of their lives searching for the answer.
Wouldn’t it be so great if it were handed to us on a silver platter? This is not a movie but reality so we need to embrace the good, the bad events, red, yellow signals in our lives. Whether you are religious or spiritual (there is a difference) you have something you choose to guide you along your way to what is deemed important by you.

I could take this time being unemployed as a negative but choose to believe this time is opening a door for me to unearth the creative portion of my life while learning about me and what I have to offer.